Is Chivalry Opposed to Game?

It is no secret that women prefer "bad boys" over nice guys. Even as a teenager, I noticed that girls would pick a guy with a poor character over someone who exhibited signs of romantic affection. In my high school there was a beautiful girl who was also an A student. She could have dated pretty much any guy in the school, yet she chose to get knocked up by a short, bald, burnout who looked like Neanderthal man. Frequently, girls marry these low-quality men, but later regret it and get divorced or they just date one bad boy after another for years. Either way, when it comes time to settle down, they look for some nice guy to accept them with all their baggage.  Nobody wants to be the guy who a woman marries just because he is safe provider. This observation has led many in the manosphere to discard being a nice guy in favor of becoming one of the bad boys.

To this end, many bloggers in the manosphere teach the concept of "game" which translates to the techniques of the bad boys. For example, game means that you don't let on that you really like a girl. Rather, the man should adopt an attitude of being aloof. Taking it further, since most bad boys just want to get into a girl's pants, the advocates of game similarly think that men should adopt the "screw 'em and leave 'em" mindset. You still might end up marrying a woman who has lots of baggage or you might not ever get married, but at least you have had fun in the process of getting there.

The problem with game, at least, in its extreme form of "fuck 'em and leave 'em" is that it flies contrary to the nature of many men. I don't recall being taught the concept of chivalry by my parents, but I had a natural inclination to treat women with respect. What do I mean by chivalry? It was about more than opening doors and giving up your seat on the bus. For me it meant living a life according to an unwritten code of honor. In meant that I believed in true love -- that I would find a woman that I loved and who genuinely loved me and that we would commit to each other "for better for worse, for richer for poorer, in sickness and in health, to love and to cherish, till death us do part." Chivalry also meant fighting evil if it should arise and protecting one's family and country even if it meant laying down one's life. I don't think I am unusual in this regard. Most young men have this noble mindset only to have it beaten out of them by the harsh realities of our modern culture.

The problem is that our culture has degraded to such an extent that it has spent the last 60 years actively mocking the concept of chivalry and goodness. Women (and men) are encouraged to be promiscuous, but promiscuity destroys chivalry. The celebrities that are held up to us are not noble or good -- frequently they are the basest sort of characters. The whole concept of equality is intended to destroy any differences between the sexes upon which the concept of chivalry is based.  Not surprisingly, many men, seeing that chivalry is a losing proposition, have adopted game so that they can compete in this new world.

It is true that some aspects of game are opposed to chivalry. If you are out in the dating world and your only goal is to bed as many women as possible, don't kid yourself. You are not being chivalrous. I had a friend who started out as a shy guy who wasn't successful at dating women adopt game and then he went on to sleep with dozens of girls using the schtick that he was a nice guy. In truth, he was no longer a "nice guy" but he had become an active contributor to the decaying culture, and that is the opposite of chivalry. Chivalry means restoring the culture even when you feel like you are the only one swimming against the current.

But is chivalry actually opposed to all aspects of game? To answer this question, we need a better definition of chivalry that the vague definition I gave above. Chivalry is a lot more than just opening doors for women or falling in love with a girl. Chivalry is, in fact, a warrior ethos of the Middle Ages. French historian Léon Gautier summarized the tenets chivalry as follows:

1. Believe the Church's teachings and observe all the Church's directions.
2. Defend the Church.
3. Respect and defend all weaknesses.
4. Love your country.
5. Show no mercy to the Infidel. Do not hesitate to make war with them.
6. Perform all your feudal duties as long as they do not conflict with the laws of God.
7. Never lie or go back on one's word.
8. Be generous to everyone.
9. Always and everywhere be right and good against evil and injustice.

Looking over these principles, your real question may be not whether  chivalry is opposed to game but whether chivalry is even possible in this day and age. Chivalry is not only possible in our time, but that it is very much alive and that certain men are called to this lifestyle. But to answer the original question, chivalry is not opposed to certain aspects of game. That is, it is possible to be chivalrous and still be successful with women if you define success as being able to easily win a girlfriend or a worthy spouse.

In the upcoming blog posts I will unfold what real chivalry means today and how it can be compatible or incompatible with game.